So long England...

I am so sad to have left England this morning. I have had a really long day at the airport with a 10 hour layover in Chicago and have looked through every picture and video from the trip. Now I sit here reflecting on everything I've learned, been challenged by, and experienced in the last 5 weeks. However, my mind still races on about Helena's (among many) endearing character and alive spirit.

Wednesday evening we returned to the rough town that we hosted the Western Themed Camp at. Helena had told me that she would be unable to make it this week but I was still hopeful for the other kids. This silly, smart, and crazy little girl had not left my mind since last week when she sat crying in my arms. When we pulled up, she was the first one I saw. She was waiting outside with several other kids that had continued to come back and back again to see the American people. She was so overcome with joy and all I could do was praise Jesus that she had not lost hope or forgotten. We hugged (they call it cuddling) for several minutes and then ran off with some other kids to play along like we had just one week before. After a little bit she ran off home to grab something. Next thing I know, she has her 6 year brother, ALWAYS-smiling Harvey, bring over a homemade card and flowers in a Hello Kitty cup. I played the character of Daisy May in the skits last week and now all of the kids in the camp believe it's my real name, I have no reason not to be Daisy May. My card reads "Dear Daisy May, I love you I love you I love you, No. 1 Girl, No. 1 Girl, No. 1 Girl! Love, Helena." I couldn't have worded it better myself.

We had a sad goodbye but not tearful or disheartening. Next week she will receive a Bible (from the Queen's Jubilee) with a note inside and underlined verses. I hope that it's enough to push her on in getting to know Jesus, finding His love, and letting her joy stem from Him. Thanks to Kookie (forever and always my England Mom), I read Mimosa by Amy Carmichael. This was exactly what I needed to read. How the Lord's power is beyond our expectations and how He truly does not need us to change children's hearts, however, he is still willing to! Sovereignty.

“Is not the courage of the love of God amazing? Could human love have asked it of a soul? Fortitude based on knowledge so slender; deathless, dauntless faith — who could have dared to ask it but the Lord God Himself? And what could have held her but Love Omnipotent?“ -Amy Carmichael

Hard-Pressed

Hard-pressed. The word that has not left my mind. Everyday I repeat to myself "Elaina be hard-pressed." I've been reading and I see hard-pressed in scripture. In bible study, the theme was being hard-pressed. And tonight, I was absolutely 100% hard-pressed.

We've been doing a Kid's Camp all week for kids in a really rough area not far from where we live in Teesside. The kids are almost all from broken homes and have gone through worse than most of us ever will. We started on Monday and finished up this evening. We've been playing games, doing skits, singing songs, and just loving on kids as much as we can. Many of them resist anything that has to do with "Jesus," refusing to sing and dance, and often bullying on the kids that do. Many of the kids have never heard of a Savior and don't understand why us crazy Americans are so willing to love them. As I am, in my selfish, foolish, untrusting ways, I find myself just yearning to get away and be surrounded by my Father in Heaven. In my head thinking God just take me away from it all, bring me to Your kingdom so that I can be surrounded with Your love and perfection and not have to face the hurt and hard and despair of this world. Come back Lord, we're ready for You. This IS my desire to depart and to just be with Christ. But it isn't all.

I had the pleasure of running around the park with Ellie, Crystal, and Helena. They are all under 10 and just love to run and lay in the grass and sing and do cartwheels and pick flowers. So we did for awhile, but then Crystal and Ellie had to go home for tea. Helena was still braiding my hair and when they left she instantly started weeping. She wrapped her arms around me and begged me to never leave her. I told her that I would have to leave soon that night but that I would be back next week and she said she wouldn't be back for some reason. This little girl has gone through so much hurt and so much loss. All she wants is someone to be consistent in her life that LOVES her. (It's funny I've noticed that in America when you say I love you to any kid they respond with I love you too! but here they look at you like you don't mean it and when they see that you do they just blush a little bit.) She loved being loved. Helena soon found out that she has a Father in Heaven that loves her 10 million times more than I could ever love her. She found out that her and I could play and run and sing and shout for eternity in Heaven!  She really liked that idea. As we were talking I was thinking, Lord, don't come back quite yet. I need to be here for You. I need to do what you've asked of me and plant these seeds in these kids' hearts, Lord I need more time. And this is when I know, that being hard-pressed for Christ is right where I need to be. Desiring to act out His will for me and to spend eternity with Him. Hard-pressed between knowing His love and acting solely on that.

This week was a struggle and I'd be lying if I said that they all came to believe in Jesus. But this town is different. A kid today said before we all got there he would come by the park and not see anyone around. As he was talking there were 50+ kids on the field, smiling and giggling and singing "I am not forgotten, God knows my name!" People were coming out of their houses to watch the kids play and see why they were all so joyful. God was so evident in their smiles. I will never forget their smiles. We laid the foundation for a whole ministry that is happening here due to some amazing people that have devoted time to this little town alone. I know that if we come back in 1 or 2 years, this place will not be what we walked into on Monday afternoon.

"For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith." Philippians 1:23-25

Beyond the Blue

Today was one of the most glorious days of my life. Josh Garrel's song Beyond the Blue was on repeat in mind. I could not possibly find words to describe it so I will try with pictures. If only you could smell and hear them though....

 Stand on the shores of a site unseen/ The substance of this dwells in me/ Cause my natural eyes only go skin deep/ But the eye’s of my heart anchor the sea

He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 10:39

Lack of recent blogs = real learning & growing

I feel as though I have learned years worth of lessons, teaching, and ministry in the last 2 weeks! It's crazy how much living with 12 people, all passionate for Northern Englands' salvation, can affect me. I'm learning how truly dependent I need to be on the Lord and no one else, especially not myself. I'm learning how wrong I am and will always be, but how good God is, eternally. I'm learning how to discern God's truths from anything this world throws at me. I'm learning how incredibly much more current, alive, and valuable the Word is than I've ever imagined. As I am growing so much and coming to grips with things I never thought possible, the country is still in need of redemption. Sometimes it feels as though there is a growing gap between my growth and the Brit's moral decline. However, then I am gently reminded that I am equally sinful, equally unable, equally dependent as the people here. The only difference is that someone once told me that I have a Savior and that He is alive and loves me as I am and always have been. He is opening and preparing hearts everyday and I have no doubt that people will fall on their knees. I've been praying for specific girls that we've met and have unintentionally shared their despair with us. The gospel is slowly coming up as they ask more and more questions about why we're here, what we like to do, and especially why we are so nice to them without knowing them.

This scripture hasn't left my conscience since I first bought my plane ticket.

"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews to those who are under the law, as under the law; that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward Christ but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now I do this for the gospel's sake, that I may be partaker of it with you."           1 Corinthians 19-23


After being told seemingly 25 times to read Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place, I picked it up 2 days ago and am finishing now. If you have not read it, you are truly missing out. It is the story of a strong Christian, Dutch family that has used their home to help the Jews and eventually were taken to concentration camps. They never stopped spreading the gospel and praying, even for those that would beat them. Here is a favorite passage from it that makes the point I mentioned earlier (on a less severe but still as relevant level) of how current, alive, and valuable the Word will always remain.

"Sometimes I would slip the Bible from its little sack with hands that shook, so mysterious had it become to me. It was new; it had just been written. I marveled sometimes that the ink was dry. I had believed the Bible always, but reading it now had nothing to do with belief. It was simply a description of the way things were- of hell and heaven, of how men act and how God acts. I had read a thousand times the story of Jesus' arrest- how soldiers had slapped Him, laughed at Him, flogged Him. Now such happenings had faces and voices."

Thank you for reading, supporting, and especially praying for my trip here. Please pray for the hearts of these people, that we would truly be a light wherever we go, and praise Him for His faithfulness, the incredible leaders this ministry has, and the plentiful harvest that He has ordained us to work in!

I can wake up, pray, read my Bible and feel so loved; within minutes of stepping out of bed I can forget. Our minds are constantly needing to be reminded of how loved we are. How easy it is for us to feel unloved or unwanted. Imagine how those that don't even know they are loved must feel. Imagine not knowing this love that surpasses all other loves. Imagine your lowest low and not having a Father in Heaven to love you through it. Imagine seeing hundreds of sons & daughters, husbands & wives, mums & dads, grandparents, and children that don't know they have His arms to run back to when they feel unloved. There is no one too broken or too lost to find redemption. How could we not be desperately seeking to tell them this great news?

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Our team will be hosting several sports camps and community outreaches this week for locals. Pray that we will boldly proclaim the Gospel and share this great love with those that desperately need to hear it. Pray that their hearts are being prepared right now to hear about a love that will bring them out of all pain and suffering and bring them into a love that will last through eternity!

And I want to sing lullabies to Earth as she cries

I want to be a songbird
And I want to sit on the tallest branch of the tallest tree
And I want to sing lullabies to Earth as she cries
But I really want to try and make her laugh.
I want to be a songbird

And I want to watch sunrise
With my love by my side
And I want to grow and I want to learn 
I want a fire and I want to burn
I want to rise and I want to fall
I want to run and I want to crawl.
I want to be a songbird

And I just want to try to know how far and deep and wide 
This love is that You give cuz that’s what it is to really live
To just try and look around 
See when our breaths and hear You in our sounds
I want to be a songbird

Go thru things that I need 
Make me hurt and make me bleed
Cuz I will arise and see the light
I’ll pray my way through the night
And I want to be a songbird

And I want to sing lullabies to Earth as she cries
But I really want to try and make her laugh
How you made me laugh
You made me laugh

Take the strings and the things I use to tie me to the ground
Let them all be gone
I want to be a songbird

Bound in the Spirit

I would be lying if I didn't tell you that each day is getting better and better. I truly and deeply love each of the 13 people I am sharing this house with and I haven't known most of them for more than a week. I also truly and deeply love every single person I meet. Jesus has a sneaky way of calming your heart and whispering in your ear at just the right moment to continue on when our flesh would normally tell you that something is wrong and to hold back. I am being constantly challenged by the believers here, with their selfless and encouraging spirits I find myself relapsing from a mood change or feeling of discouragement within moments. Last night we climbed the top of Lordstone mountain (picture any scene in Braveheart at the tops of mountains) at sunset which over looks all of Teeside (the areas in which the ministry reaches). It was so beautiful. It will absolutely go down as an "I could feel the Lord so near" moment. As we prayed over all the valley, my heart couldn't have been more sure of what we were all called here to do. This place is so dark, the gray overcast that is so prominent in Northern England is a good image of the gray in their lives. Little kids cussing and lost and most men very bitter and hostile, as they are 97% without a father figure. How lovely to know that they each have a Father who is patiently waiting for those that will open their hearts to Him. & that is exactly why I'm here.

Today was 67 degrees and SUNNY! (not the picture above, that was in the 50s and cloudy) This was unheard of in England, I may have actually gotten a tan here. We basked in the sun in the garden (yard to us americans) all day today, it was glorious. There are so many funny terms that they use here. I absolutely have to bring them back to the states. Even the english kids are so proper and so witty and quick. I couldn't love them any more. Lovely, trousers, biscuits (cookies without frosting or choc chips), cue (a waiting line), ah there are so many. Tonight we went to a town called Inglesby and played footie with the kids for 3 hours! It was some form of heaven, I'm sure. They had so many questions for me and told me some hilarious impressions they have of what America is like. I hope I cleared their image of thinking we are all trying to make our way into the Playboy mansion and going to water parks every other weekend while worshipping Justin Bieber. What an odd life that would be. The kids truly don't have much understanding of a savior in their lives, nor do they truly see a need for one. It is disheartening but also encouraging to know that we were all called here for a reason.

"But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 20:24

Perhaps...

As I arrive in Manchester I see a little girl, couldn't be more than 3, in a tiny pink peacoat sitting on her grandmother's lap. Her British grandmother, as were most everyone other than me, asked if she would like a cup of juice. She replied in maybe the cutest accent I have EVER heard... "perhaps grandmum i could just have orange juice." Next I spent 3 hours riding through the beautiful English countryside until I reached my destination where the family was waiting for my arrival. We drove home, on the left side of the road, and I was able to gather together all of my belongings and together all 13 of us (a Welsh family dined with us also) sat and enjoyed a delicious meal. Next it was off to the High Street of Yarm, built in the 13th century, all brick and stone. We stopped for some tea at a local cafe followed by a walk riverside looking at enormous swans in the front of beautiful green rolling hills with huge trees and beautiful brick houses and a castle-looking church. What? I can't believe I am living in a city that fits the description I just drew. Next we went to Stokesley for an evening church service in a town hall. I met Sir John Rowling, a living angel I'm sure. Mike powerfully preached and a British friend led worship. Hearing the strong British accents so loud and boldly proclaiming the Lord's name was an enoucragement in itself. We stayed after for a bit to catch up with the locals. One man in particular touched my heart. He was a traveler, which is a modern day gypsy. Travelers have been viewed in a bad light because they often steal as their only form of making money and have many He has only lived on the move, does not know how to read, has never been to school. He has 4 kids and a wife and they heard of and learned the Gospel (only heard because they cannot read) and within the last year their lives have been transformed. The man who is named Priddy Boy, pronounced as Pretty boy, was telling us how he feels as white as snow and washed clean of all his sin. He was talking of Jehovah's witnesses and saying their wolves in sheep's clothing. He was saying direct quotes from the Bible and he has NEVER read it for himself. What an encouragement to us that have the knowledge and all the skills but are not actively pursuing God as much as a man that has come to know Him through other people's teaching, reading, and singing. I'm thrilled to know that I'll be spending eternity with many of these incredible British people I'm meeting! I feel so blessed to be here.

"With favor You will surround him as with a shield."

Hear me when I call O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distresses; have mercy on me, and hear my prayer:
How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame? How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood? But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself who is godly; The Lord will hear when I call to Him. Be angry and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord. 
There are many who say "Who will show us any good?" Lord, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us. You have put gladness in my heart. More than in the season that their grain and wine increased. I will both lie down in peace and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.  Psalm 5

This time tomorrow I will be headed off to Chicago for an awkwardly long layover.  My prayer is that through even this time at the airport I am able to share our Father's love. I know that the only way to do this is to be constantly in the Word and prayer. I love thinking about all of the people I have praying for me. It is so sweet and it reminds me that even if I don't know anyone else at an international airport, I am truly never alone.

I also fully intend on flipping it. (Flip video camera). Especially the plane ride, ahhh!! I paid a little extra to get a window seat. Oh the people I will see...

And then the nerves go away and things like this happen, only to encourage me right along. TWO weeks & counting.

His will

"So here was the dignity and the health and the freedom of it. I was not responsible to this very first and important step for anyone but me. Just as, except God, no one else can be born or die for you, no one else can believe or choose for anyone else. I knew that like everything and everyone else in the world, I was broken far beyond my ability to repair myself. And others' brokenness was not the issue here. Mine was. For once, as it is for each of us, it was completely and unabashedly about me. About taking care of my business first. Between God and me. No excuses. No distractions. No more lies from a self-proclaimed place of ignorance or justification, white or darkest dark, or otherwise. Paradoxically, once that's squared away. It's not about me."

"No individual by the very state of existence, can avoid life as a form of servitude; it only remains for us to decide, deny, or remain oblivious to, whom or what we serve."

Both of these are excerpts out of Carolyn Weber's memoir titled Surprised By Oxford. A sweet friend recommended it to me last fall. I finished it within a month and the depth of its message still has not left. I knew that this summer would see big things for me, but I had no idea I would go to England; nor anywhere that spoke English for that matter. I don't know what God has planned for me there but I am fully willing to invest my whole heart into the people and my precious time there. The author Carolyn grew up in a hard family but always relied on her intelligence and knowledge of literature and "worldly" things to lead her in life. It wasn't until she left home and went to study at Oxford that she came to meet her Heavenly Father, who was patiently waiting for her to come to Him. Through her perfectly orchestrated word choice and pure genius metaphors, she explains the struggles and delights she found through this transformation in her life. She unfolds her story so honestly and real that it would be hard for anyone not to relate to her. Through her vivid descriptions of conversations of how the gospel rocked her world, it was so clear to me that I had to go. And so here I go.