I am so sad to have left England this morning. I have had a really long day at the airport with a 10 hour layover in Chicago and have looked through every picture and video from the trip. Now I sit here reflecting on everything I've learned, been challenged by, and experienced in the last 5 weeks. However, my mind still races on about Helena's (among many) endearing character and alive spirit.
Wednesday evening we returned to the rough town that we hosted the Western Themed Camp at. Helena had told me that she would be unable to make it this week but I was still hopeful for the other kids. This silly, smart, and crazy little girl had not left my mind since last week when she sat crying in my arms. When we pulled up, she was the first one I saw. She was waiting outside with several other kids that had continued to come back and back again to see the American people. She was so overcome with joy and all I could do was praise Jesus that she had not lost hope or forgotten. We hugged (they call it cuddling) for several minutes and then ran off with some other kids to play along like we had just one week before. After a little bit she ran off home to grab something. Next thing I know, she has her 6 year brother, ALWAYS-smiling Harvey, bring over a homemade card and flowers in a Hello Kitty cup. I played the character of Daisy May in the skits last week and now all of the kids in the camp believe it's my real name, I have no reason not to be Daisy May. My card reads "Dear Daisy May, I love you I love you I love you, No. 1 Girl, No. 1 Girl, No. 1 Girl! Love, Helena." I couldn't have worded it better myself.
We had a sad goodbye but not tearful or disheartening. Next week she will receive a Bible (from the Queen's Jubilee) with a note inside and underlined verses. I hope that it's enough to push her on in getting to know Jesus, finding His love, and letting her joy stem from Him. Thanks to Kookie (forever and always my England Mom), I read Mimosa by Amy Carmichael. This was exactly what I needed to read. How the Lord's power is beyond our expectations and how He truly does not need us to change children's hearts, however, he is still willing to! Sovereignty.
“Is not the courage of the love of God amazing? Could human love have asked it of a soul? Fortitude based on knowledge so slender; deathless, dauntless faith — who could have dared to ask it but the Lord God Himself? And what could have held her but Love Omnipotent?“ -Amy Carmichael
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Hard-Pressed
Hard-pressed. The word that has not left my mind. Everyday I repeat to myself "Elaina be hard-pressed." I've been reading and I see hard-pressed in scripture. In bible study, the theme was being hard-pressed. And tonight, I was absolutely 100% hard-pressed.
We've been doing a Kid's Camp all week for kids in a really rough area not far from where we live in Teesside. The kids are almost all from broken homes and have gone through worse than most of us ever will. We started on Monday and finished up this evening. We've been playing games, doing skits, singing songs, and just loving on kids as much as we can. Many of them resist anything that has to do with "Jesus," refusing to sing and dance, and often bullying on the kids that do. Many of the kids have never heard of a Savior and don't understand why us crazy Americans are so willing to love them. As I am, in my selfish, foolish, untrusting ways, I find myself just yearning to get away and be surrounded by my Father in Heaven. In my head thinking God just take me away from it all, bring me to Your kingdom so that I can be surrounded with Your love and perfection and not have to face the hurt and hard and despair of this world. Come back Lord, we're ready for You. This IS my desire to depart and to just be with Christ. But it isn't all.
I had the pleasure of running around the park with Ellie, Crystal, and Helena. They are all under 10 and just love to run and lay in the grass and sing and do cartwheels and pick flowers. So we did for awhile, but then Crystal and Ellie had to go home for tea. Helena was still braiding my hair and when they left she instantly started weeping. She wrapped her arms around me and begged me to never leave her. I told her that I would have to leave soon that night but that I would be back next week and she said she wouldn't be back for some reason. This little girl has gone through so much hurt and so much loss. All she wants is someone to be consistent in her life that LOVES her. (It's funny I've noticed that in America when you say I love you to any kid they respond with I love you too! but here they look at you like you don't mean it and when they see that you do they just blush a little bit.) She loved being loved. Helena soon found out that she has a Father in Heaven that loves her 10 million times more than I could ever love her. She found out that her and I could play and run and sing and shout for eternity in Heaven! She really liked that idea. As we were talking I was thinking, Lord, don't come back quite yet. I need to be here for You. I need to do what you've asked of me and plant these seeds in these kids' hearts, Lord I need more time. And this is when I know, that being hard-pressed for Christ is right where I need to be. Desiring to act out His will for me and to spend eternity with Him. Hard-pressed between knowing His love and acting solely on that.
This week was a struggle and I'd be lying if I said that they all came to believe in Jesus. But this town is different. A kid today said before we all got there he would come by the park and not see anyone around. As he was talking there were 50+ kids on the field, smiling and giggling and singing "I am not forgotten, God knows my name!" People were coming out of their houses to watch the kids play and see why they were all so joyful. God was so evident in their smiles. I will never forget their smiles. We laid the foundation for a whole ministry that is happening here due to some amazing people that have devoted time to this little town alone. I know that if we come back in 1 or 2 years, this place will not be what we walked into on Monday afternoon.
We've been doing a Kid's Camp all week for kids in a really rough area not far from where we live in Teesside. The kids are almost all from broken homes and have gone through worse than most of us ever will. We started on Monday and finished up this evening. We've been playing games, doing skits, singing songs, and just loving on kids as much as we can. Many of them resist anything that has to do with "Jesus," refusing to sing and dance, and often bullying on the kids that do. Many of the kids have never heard of a Savior and don't understand why us crazy Americans are so willing to love them. As I am, in my selfish, foolish, untrusting ways, I find myself just yearning to get away and be surrounded by my Father in Heaven. In my head thinking God just take me away from it all, bring me to Your kingdom so that I can be surrounded with Your love and perfection and not have to face the hurt and hard and despair of this world. Come back Lord, we're ready for You. This IS my desire to depart and to just be with Christ. But it isn't all.
I had the pleasure of running around the park with Ellie, Crystal, and Helena. They are all under 10 and just love to run and lay in the grass and sing and do cartwheels and pick flowers. So we did for awhile, but then Crystal and Ellie had to go home for tea. Helena was still braiding my hair and when they left she instantly started weeping. She wrapped her arms around me and begged me to never leave her. I told her that I would have to leave soon that night but that I would be back next week and she said she wouldn't be back for some reason. This little girl has gone through so much hurt and so much loss. All she wants is someone to be consistent in her life that LOVES her. (It's funny I've noticed that in America when you say I love you to any kid they respond with I love you too! but here they look at you like you don't mean it and when they see that you do they just blush a little bit.) She loved being loved. Helena soon found out that she has a Father in Heaven that loves her 10 million times more than I could ever love her. She found out that her and I could play and run and sing and shout for eternity in Heaven! She really liked that idea. As we were talking I was thinking, Lord, don't come back quite yet. I need to be here for You. I need to do what you've asked of me and plant these seeds in these kids' hearts, Lord I need more time. And this is when I know, that being hard-pressed for Christ is right where I need to be. Desiring to act out His will for me and to spend eternity with Him. Hard-pressed between knowing His love and acting solely on that.
This week was a struggle and I'd be lying if I said that they all came to believe in Jesus. But this town is different. A kid today said before we all got there he would come by the park and not see anyone around. As he was talking there were 50+ kids on the field, smiling and giggling and singing "I am not forgotten, God knows my name!" People were coming out of their houses to watch the kids play and see why they were all so joyful. God was so evident in their smiles. I will never forget their smiles. We laid the foundation for a whole ministry that is happening here due to some amazing people that have devoted time to this little town alone. I know that if we come back in 1 or 2 years, this place will not be what we walked into on Monday afternoon.
"For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith." Philippians 1:23-25
Friday, June 8, 2012
Beyond the Blue
Today was one of the most glorious days of my life. Josh Garrel's song Beyond the Blue was on repeat in mind. I could not possibly find words to describe it so I will try with pictures. If only you could smell and hear them though....
Stand on the shores of a site unseen/ The substance of this dwells in me/ Cause my natural eyes only go skin deep/ But the eye’s of my heart anchor the sea
He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 10:39
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Lack of recent blogs = real learning & growing
I feel as though I have learned years worth of lessons, teaching, and ministry in the last 2 weeks! It's crazy how much living with 12 people, all passionate for Northern Englands' salvation, can affect me. I'm learning how truly dependent I need to be on the Lord and no one else, especially not myself. I'm learning how wrong I am and will always be, but how good God is, eternally. I'm learning how to discern God's truths from anything this world throws at me. I'm learning how incredibly much more current, alive, and valuable the Word is than I've ever imagined. As I am growing so much and coming to grips with things I never thought possible, the country is still in need of redemption. Sometimes it feels as though there is a growing gap between my growth and the Brit's moral decline. However, then I am gently reminded that I am equally sinful, equally unable, equally dependent as the people here. The only difference is that someone once told me that I have a Savior and that He is alive and loves me as I am and always have been. He is opening and preparing hearts everyday and I have no doubt that people will fall on their knees. I've been praying for specific girls that we've met and have unintentionally shared their despair with us. The gospel is slowly coming up as they ask more and more questions about why we're here, what we like to do, and especially why we are so nice to them without knowing them.
This scripture hasn't left my conscience since I first bought my plane ticket.
"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews to those who are under the law, as under the law; that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward Christ but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now I do this for the gospel's sake, that I may be partaker of it with you." 1 Corinthians 19-23
After being told seemingly 25 times to read Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place, I picked it up 2 days ago and am finishing now. If you have not read it, you are truly missing out. It is the story of a strong Christian, Dutch family that has used their home to help the Jews and eventually were taken to concentration camps. They never stopped spreading the gospel and praying, even for those that would beat them. Here is a favorite passage from it that makes the point I mentioned earlier (on a less severe but still as relevant level) of how current, alive, and valuable the Word will always remain.
"Sometimes I would slip the Bible from its little sack with hands that shook, so mysterious had it become to me. It was new; it had just been written. I marveled sometimes that the ink was dry. I had believed the Bible always, but reading it now had nothing to do with belief. It was simply a description of the way things were- of hell and heaven, of how men act and how God acts. I had read a thousand times the story of Jesus' arrest- how soldiers had slapped Him, laughed at Him, flogged Him. Now such happenings had faces and voices."
Thank you for reading, supporting, and especially praying for my trip here. Please pray for the hearts of these people, that we would truly be a light wherever we go, and praise Him for His faithfulness, the incredible leaders this ministry has, and the plentiful harvest that He has ordained us to work in!
This scripture hasn't left my conscience since I first bought my plane ticket.
"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews to those who are under the law, as under the law; that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward Christ but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now I do this for the gospel's sake, that I may be partaker of it with you." 1 Corinthians 19-23
After being told seemingly 25 times to read Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place, I picked it up 2 days ago and am finishing now. If you have not read it, you are truly missing out. It is the story of a strong Christian, Dutch family that has used their home to help the Jews and eventually were taken to concentration camps. They never stopped spreading the gospel and praying, even for those that would beat them. Here is a favorite passage from it that makes the point I mentioned earlier (on a less severe but still as relevant level) of how current, alive, and valuable the Word will always remain.
"Sometimes I would slip the Bible from its little sack with hands that shook, so mysterious had it become to me. It was new; it had just been written. I marveled sometimes that the ink was dry. I had believed the Bible always, but reading it now had nothing to do with belief. It was simply a description of the way things were- of hell and heaven, of how men act and how God acts. I had read a thousand times the story of Jesus' arrest- how soldiers had slapped Him, laughed at Him, flogged Him. Now such happenings had faces and voices."
Thank you for reading, supporting, and especially praying for my trip here. Please pray for the hearts of these people, that we would truly be a light wherever we go, and praise Him for His faithfulness, the incredible leaders this ministry has, and the plentiful harvest that He has ordained us to work in!
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