Sharing and Sheep

I am always teaching my Kindergarteners about sharing. It is a never ending lesson that extends beyond what I thought I 'd have to explain. It is endless as I repeatedly have to ask for grace in order to effectively and compassionately instruct how to share crayons, how to share talking time, how to share love. I find myself often lacking in patience and grace and trying to hold on to one glimpse of hope or  at least a string of truth. Hoping that string will lead to the place that I can remember the Giver of abundant mercy and endless grace. When I am restless and overwhelmed by the thought of having to remind or redirect one more child or feel the weight of my direction and authority being weak. There are moments when I can barely stand to smile at them because I feel so personally attacked by what they do or simply discouraged by how they behave during my instruction. Then it hits me, they are sheep. I am a sheep. We are sheep. I may be a shepherd in their life but somehow that puts a tension on me to be hyper aware of my sheep-ness and desperate for the Shepherd. It is good and it hurts because it exposes the bad in me in order to refine and glorify the good from the father. It is good because it is eternal. It is good because He is writing stories to be shared with others along the journey. It is good because Jesus does not change. It is good because God already sees how I am the day when I meet Him in Heaven. It is good because as I lose more of my sheep-ness each of my kids gets to meet more of their Shepherd. Oh Lord, for a heart that will continue to let you strip away my impatience and trust the Hand that deals. But for each child to know the love that surpasses knowledge, so be it.